Beauty and the Otaku
by Da Games Elite
Summary: After a rather strange event at the Cosplay Cafe, Kagami Hiiragi starts to see things differently. She feels such a great passion, but does Konata feel the same way, or is her constant sexual banter only teasing? Shoujo-ai warning, WAFF, KxK
1. Chapter 1

Yay! My first Yuri Story! ^_^ Now, to be perfectly fair, the yuri, at the start, will be subtle, but will increase as time passes. Now, I personally love the discovery part of yuri stories, where the characters learn and come to terms with their interests. I find that more satisfying, in my opinion, than some of the mushy scenes. Still, prepare for some WAFF and some irresistible cuteness! ^_^ Make sure you R&R! ^_^

Oh, and in case you couldn't tell, I don't own Lucky Star. Wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out, though…

**Beauty and the Otaku**

**By Da Games Elite**

**Part 1**

"Kagami, it looks like that skirt of yours is a little too tight," the baby-blue haired otaku cooed, prodding a long finger against her friend's middle. The sensation of her flesh molding around her finger sent chills through her spin. As her face turned red with humiliation, her friend continued in that irritatingly lazy tone of hers. "I think someone failed their diet again."

"Oh, shut up!" Kagami stammered, slapping her hand aside as she curled her arms around her torso, fingering the miniscule roll of flesh, a result of wearing a painfully tight skirt. She should have watched her calorie intake a little better, sure, but it wasn't noticeable to anyone normal. How the hell Konata could notice that small little pudge on that torso if even her mother, sisters, hell, even her twin, didn't see it. Hell, if she didn't weigh herself on a regular basis, she wouldn't have noticed it either. So how the hell did this otaku, this moron, who focused 100% on video games and anime, notice such a subtle change in her body?

The answer was that she was a freak.

"Kagami, when you blush it's just so adorable," Konata giggled, pressing her knuckles against her mouth.

"Oh shut up!"

"And I love it when you swear," Konata giggled again.

"Uh, what're you two talking about?" Kagami's twin sister, Tsukasa, asked.

The world around her came back into focus for Kagami. She was sitting at a group of four desks pushed up against each other, next to Konata and Tsukasa, in front of Miyuki, the only girl other than herself who wasn't a complete idiot. Well, in Tsukasa's defense at least she tried to work hard. It wasn't her short purple haired sister's fault that she was so challenged. Still, her round innocent face, now expressing her deep confusion at whatever it was that her older fraternal twin and Konata were arguing about.

"Oh, Tsukasa, it's just Konata being, well, stupid short Konata," Kagami replied.

"I don't know how much of an argument I can put up against the stupid part, but I like to think of myself as fun sized."

"I think of it as short," Kagami replied.

"I wish there was some sort of magical powder that could make me grow taller," sighed Konata, "I mean, in anime some characters can just grow to super sizes."

"Oh God!" Kagami shook her head in disapproval as she stared at the serious expression in Konata's squinty eyes, that somehow dead serious expression in her eyes. How could that otaku say such a ludicrous statement and still maintain that dead serious expression of her? It was as though her face was plastered in that same expression, that same grin that seemed more akin to a feline than a human smile.

"Actually, I read that they're treatments that developmentally stunted people can have in order to grow, like hormones therapy and medicine doctors can prescribe," Miyuki replied, a friendly smile on her lips, her pink wavy hair bouncing up and down as she used her hands to express herself as she brushed aside her bangs from her eyes and pushed her glasses higher up the bridge of her nose.

"You know, I think I actually heard about that sort of treatment somewhere," Kagami replied, smiling in light of actual intelligence being brought into this conversation, "You know, Konata, you ever think there may be some sort of developmental problem in your gene pool?"

"What do you mean?" Konata asked, a perplexed expression in her eyes.

"I mean, your cousin Yutaka isn't exactly all that tall," Kagami replied, "And you still fit into your sixth grade uniform."

"Yeah, and that really appeals to all those guys into lolicon," Konata replied, a smile spreading across her face, "It really appeals to the guys at the café."

"You know, I don't think that's the best reinforcement or motivation to stay that small," Kagami replied, shaking her head in disbelief. She still had yet to adjust to Konata's random statements that made her sound like a strange girl longing for either attention or to be a walking emblem for her otaku geekdom. As she raised an eyebrow at her curious friend, who didn't seem to get the fact that what she had just said was among her strangest and most bizarre statements that she had made in the period of time she had known Konata.

"And why not? It makes money," Konata replied, smiling.

"So wait, what do you mean by that?" Kagami stammered.

"Alright, lunch is over. Kagami, go back to wherever the heck you came from." Kagami turned to the head of the class to see Konata's blonde haired teacher, her hair pulled into a long ponytail, her eyes gazing down specifically at Kagami in amusement. Just what did that teacher want, exactly? As she adjusted her professional looking outfit, an outfit that looked strangely masculine on her, she added, "I'm sure Konata's not going to forget about you if you're apart for a few minutes."

This created a minor stir of giggles from some of the other members of the class, at which Kagami blushed deep red. She rose to her feet, withdrawing the books and bags he brought with her and holding it against her breasts. As she left the room, Konata called out in that gentle, lazy tone, "Kagami, don't feel too lonely without me, okay?"

"Oh, shut up!"

Within a few seconds, she had returned to her original seat in her original classroom, sitting in the vicinity of Ayano and Misao again. Short haired Misao, her dark hair and bronze skin in sharp contrast to Kagami Ayano's light hair and creamy white skin, approached Kagami's desk, a cheerful, goofy grin on her lips. "Hey, Kagami, are you busy today?" She seemed so energetic, so full of joy, so much so that Kagami felt guilty when she revealed to her longtime friend that she couldn't hang out that day because of her obligation to Konata, a promise to meet her at the café she worked at, a vow she had made a few days earlier. Misao's face fell as she replied, "Aw, that stinks. It's a real shame. I had this new fighting game I thought would be really fun to play with you."

"Don't let it bother you," Ayano replied, gently, her orange tinted hair held back by a hair band as always, "I wouldn't mind playing it with you if you want."

"Oh, Misao, I'm sorry, but if you know how she is. If I don't go today, she'll bug me over and over again until I do," sighed Kagami, trying to think of anything to keep Misao from feeling jealous or anything to that effect. The last thing she needed was to have two of her friends waging war against each other, a war she suspected that Konata would wage just for the fun of it. "Think of it this way: at least you wouldn't just bug me constantly until I listened to you, right?"

"Well, I don't know about that," Misao laughed with a goofy grin, "Still, that midget can be really annoying sometimes." Kagami cringed when she heard Misao refer to Konata as a midget. It wasn't like Kagami didn't call her something to that effect on a regular basis, but that didn't mean that hearing Misao refer to Konata as a midget was akin to hearing a six-year-old utter some forbidden swear so filthy that even adults were hesitant to utter it. Noticing Kagami's reaction, Misao cocked her head in confusion. "What's the matter?"

"Oh? Nothing," Kagami replied, "Just thought of something. No big deal."

"Okay, if you say so," Misao replied.

The classes that followed passed without event, aside from Kagami answering a few correct questions. At the end of the day, Misao and Ayano followed Kagami down the hallways as the girl with two ponytails stopped at her shoe locker. As she withdrew her real sneakers from the rows upon rows of other lockers. Kagami noted, as Misao discussed some random matter that didn't seem to apply all that much to the moment, that Konata was no where to be seen. With a shake of her head, Misao stated some rather major point of her discussion, a point that Ayano seemed to agree with. Maybe Konata had already been at the locker and was now working at that crazy café, a cesspool for otaku just like her.

"So what do you think about it, Kagami?" Misao asked.

"Huh? What?"

"Were you even listening to me?" Misao asked, her eyes narrowed.

"Huh? Oh, no, sorry. I was distracted by something."

"Oh, no prob," Misao replied, off handedly, "Happens to me all the time."

"Hey, Kagami!" Tsukasa darted toward her elder twin, a smile on her lips.

"Hey! Tsukasa!" Kagami replied, a smile on her lips as she waved over to her sister as she neared her, "You ready?"

"Yeah, I'm all set," Tsukasa replied.

"Oh, is she going with you to Konata's?" Ayano asked, slightly to Misao's charign.

"No," Tsukasa replied, her head lowered slightly in disappointment, "I'm going straight home. I need to get started on a project."

"Isn't Konata in your class?" Ayano asked, "Doesn't she need to do anything you do?"

"Clearly you don't know Konata like I do," sighed Kagami, "She wouldn't do the project even if she was being blackmailed. Chances are she's probably going to ask me for the answers at the café. I'd bet all the money in my left pocket on it." In truth, Kagami only had 300 yen, two tissues, one of them used, and two sticks of cherry-flavored bubblegum. Naturally, she didn't have any problem parting with them on the off chance she was wrong, which she rarely was.

"Well, actually Konata said she wanted to ask her cousin Yui for help," Tsukasa replied, a smile on her lips.

"Well, she's still asking for help," Kagami replied. "It'll be a sad day for her when she wakes up and realizes that none of us are gonna help her out with her work any more, you know?"

"Yeah, I think I know what you mean," Tsukasa replied, sheepishly.

"Aw man," Misao mumbled, "I suppose you're gonna go straight to the café, right?" Misao asked, frowning.

"Yeah, I got to go on foot, so I might as well start going now. Sooner I leave, sooner I could see whatever Konata wants, the sooner I could go home and do my homework, and if I have time, beat Matsuri at Super Smash Bros. Brawl." With that, the purple haired woman turned around, walking down the road toward whatever nightmare Konata had waiting for her. As she walked down past the hoards of students returning to the sanctuary of their homes, a sanctuary away from the bizarre world Kagami found herself reluctantly submerging herself in, she wondered silently to herself just what it was that Konata had to see her about at her cosplay café. Was it some sort of new display? A fun feature? Maybe a show that Konata had taken great pride in?

"Hey! Kagami!" At the sound of her name, she turned around to see a short, blonde haired girl younger than her darting toward her, a smile on her gentle face. Being an American, Patricia Martin stood out like a piranha in a shark tank in the homogenius Japanese population of their school. Now, however, as Kagami left the crowd of students going helter-skelter, with less people around, Patricia's foreign face didn't seem so out of place any longer.

"What's up, Patricia?" Kagami asked, stopping for the American to catch up to her, gasping for air after her momentary dash to reach the girl.

"Konata said you were stopping by the café today. Well, are you?" Patricia wheezed through her gasps for air as she rose to her full height, "You wanna walk together? We're going the same way anyway."

Kagami considered this. Patricia, for her extreme lack of knowledge about Japanese culture, wasn't a bad person. Sure, she was one of Konata's lot, but if she could endure that midget's overwhelming geekiness—there she said it. She had felt uncomfortable when Misao said it, but why was she able to say it without feeling even remotely guilty? There shouldn't be any sort of double standard. It was either good to say or bad to say, herself not excluded from being unable to say that taboo. Just what was wrong with her right now? Why was she beating herself up over that word! Konata was a midget! Konata was a midget!

"Kagami, if you're that uncomfortable with letting me come—"

Was Kagami making facial expressions? Shaking her head, Kagami changed her expression into a forced calm, a small smile spreading across her lips. "Hey, look, I was just thinking about something. Sure, I'm going to the café. It'd be nice to have a little company. Besides, I have a few questions to ask." After all, if Patricia worked at the café, surely she could give Kagami a heads up about what was going to happen to her. Knowing Konata, her surprises usually ended up being rather awkward experiences. It was best to be prepared with that otaku.

"Oh, sure! What's up?" Patricia Martin asked as she remained at Kagami's side as the two walked down the street, drawing nearer to their final destination with every step.

"Do you know what Konata's planning over at the café?" Kagami asked.

"Didn't she tell you anything?" Patricia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, not a thing," she replied, curiously, "Why? Do you know something."

"Not really," Patricia admitted, "But I do know that Konata's been rather excited about something recently. She said that there was going to be something special today, specifically. She talked to our boss about it, she told me, and but she said she needed a little help to do it."

"Help?" Somehow, Kagami didn't like the sounds of that. She had always helped Konata with her work, helped her with her tests, helped her maintain a stable grade point average despite Konata clearly having the intelligence to pass Miss Kuroi's class with flying colors. So what did she need help with this time? Surely some sort of geeky otaku thingy that was beyond Kagami's realm of comprehension, or perhaps Kagami was beyond this otaku stupidity that Konata was so consumed with. Maybe if Konata could grow out of this obsession a little bit, she'd be a little more fun to hang around with. Still, somehow if Konata had lost that obsession with anime, she really wouldn't be the Konata she knew and loved.

Finally, the duo arrived at the café, after a few wrong turns thanks to Kagami being distracted, mistakes that Patricia had to mend, which Kagami found slightly ironic considering that Patricia made mistakes that, supposedly, Yutaka and her friends needed to mend for her. After ascending the stairway, Patricia turned to Kagami and said, in her high voice, "I have to get changed into my costume. You know the rest of the way, right?"

"Yeah, I know the room," Kagami replied, "What're you wearing now?"

"Well, today we're dressing up in plug suits."

"What?"

"You know, plug suits. Did you ever see Evangelion?"

"A little of it. Wait, do you mean you're dressing up in those skin-tight suits the pilots wear?"

"Well, not necessarily those. I'm wearing one of Gundum's plug suits, but we don't have anyone to—"

"Ah! Kagami!"

She turned around at the sound of her name, as did Patricia. There, standing in a skin tight silver suit that emphasized her figure, or lack thereof, was Konata, her long locks of hair that trailed down to her hips pulled up by clips so that it looked as though her hair only extended to the bottom of her jaw. How such a feat was achieved even with a dozen or so clips was beyond Kagami's realm of understanding. It took a few double takes just to take in how different her friend looked with short hair.

"Konata! You're wearing the Rei uniform?" Patricia asked, "I thought that Yoko—"

"She's out sick today," replied Konata, "So I filled in. Thankfully she's about my size."

"Hang on a second. Do you mean there's another girl who's just as developmentally stunted as you are?" Kagami asked in a deadpan voice.

"Stunted? I told you, Kagami, fun sized. Fun sized!"

"Well, she is in the sixth grade," replied Patricia on a serious note.

"You mean you let sixth graders work here? Isn't that a little illegal?"

"Oh, but she appeals to the lolicon crowd," Konata replied, waving off Kagami's concerns.

"That's exactly what I was afraid of!" Kagami hissed, "So Konata, why did you want me here, anyway?"

"Well, the truth is—Patricia, go get changed and fill in for me a bit, okay?" Konata glanced over at the immigrant, who nodded sternly, and darted up the stairway. Once out of earshot, Konata turned back to her friend, and smiled in an amused grin, "The truth is that we need someone to cosplay as Asuka."

"Wait, what?"

"You know, Asuka!"

"Who the hell is she?"

"From Evangelion!'

"I don't watch that show! I've already told Patricia that!"

"But we need one. She's a fan favorite and a lot of the fans really want to see one. Normally this girl Natsumi would do her, but she's at a funeral in Okinawa, so we needed someone. So I asked my boss if you could be her."

"And why did you volunteer me, exactly?" Kagami asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

"Because you're a tsundere like her," Konata replied, simply.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tsundere? Just what the hell was a tsundere? No doubt some ridiculous otaku terminology. The vocabulary that Konata constantly referenced was something that Kagami would occasionally pick up on, but sometimes she was lost. She wasn't familiar with the character, wasn't familiar with her costume, or anything like that. "Give me one reason why I should—"

"Of course, the costume might just show off those fat rolls of yours," Konata replied, a snide grin on her lips.

"What!?"

"I understand if you're afraid of doing it. I mean, I wouldn't want you to be embarrassed of those thunder thighs," Konata added, that same cat-like grin on her lips as she scratched the area around her small mole.

"Alright, are you implying I couldn't pull off the look?"

"Yes, essentially."

It took a few minutes for Kagami to prove Konata wrong by dressing in the skin-tight scarlet uniform. It took a few minutes more for her to appreciate just how stupid she had been for submitting to her pride like that. She should have let Konata won and let the matter go, but oh no! She needed to prove Konata wrong. The uniform was snug, though. She rubbed her belly with her hand, anxiously prodding the soft surface of her mostly flat torso. She wondered if any of these otaku would notice the slight imperfections, the slight ripple when she walked.

"Oh, Kagami's nervous, is she?" Konata asked, amused.

"You shut up!"

"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine," Konata replied, "And you'll be paid too, so what more can you ask for?"

"How about a more comfortable outfit?" snapped Kagami.

"Hey, shouldn't we dye her hair red?" Patricia, dressed in a much looser uniform covered with plates and the like, suggested, asking Konata rather than Kagami about the state of her hair.

"What?!"

"Yeah, you have a point. And we should make a few suggestions about being in character," Konata replied, a small grin on her lips.

"Look, it's bad enough I put this stupid costume on, but if you touch my hair, I'll kill you, and if you give me lessons on how to remain in character for someone I don't even know about, so help me God, I'll beat you silly!"

There was a moment of silence where both Konata and Patricia stared in awe at Kagami. As blush ran up her face, Kagami glanced at both of the otaku. Just what had she said to bring out this sort of reaction from them? Finally, Konata shrugged and replied, "Well, I guess I won't need to tell you how to be in character. You're actual personality is perfect."

"What does that mean?" snapped Kagami.

"Just keep doing what you're doing now, and you'll be fine," Patricia replied, cautiously backing away as she gestured toward the reluctant cosplayer.

The afternoon passed at the pace of a paralyzed stallion on a backwards conveyer belt. The sweaty otaku who she needed to serve weren't all that bad. Some were rather polite, and asked about the nature of her costume. Kagami actually found she was occasionally disappointed to admit that she was really just a last-minute fill in and couldn't supply any info about the nature of her outfit. However, there were also rather awkward customers who Kagami swore, when her back was turned, were doing rather lewd things in response to her appearance. She felt nauseated, and asked herself how Konata could possibly enjoy working here.

"Having fun?" Konata asked as the clock ticked onward and the sky began to grow dark outside.

"Does it look like I'm alright?" Kagami snapped, crankily.

"Hey! You're in perfect character! Keep this up, Kagami, and my boss'll probably ask you to stay on as a fill in whenever someone else is sick."

"Oh, shut up!" Kagami snapped, loudly, "I don't suppose you had to serve some creepy guy who asked you to give them live octopuses and carry them inside the damn plug suit."

"Oh, that guy? He always comes up with so many creative ideas."

"Alright, Konata, I'm going home." Kagami was about to turn away when she felt a hand clasp itself around her wrist. She turned around to see the blue haired girl staring up at her, a determined expression in her eye. Kagami tugged against her again and again, grunting with every tug. "Hey! Lemme go! My wrist hurts!" And yet the blue haired girl's gaze didn't waver, didn't break. She simply stared up at Kagami, pulling harder and harder against her arm until the girl with two pigtails actually bent over against her will, being pulled closer and closer to Kagami. "Hey, what're you doing? Hey! Konata? What the hell are you do—"

Kagami's words were muted as the two girls' lips locked.

Kagami felt anxiety fill her body, coarse through her veins. She was kissing Konata. Her lips were locked, her breath filling her otaku friend's mouth, the taste of minty toothpaste from Konata's teeth filling Kagami's throat. Her eyes wavered in horror, in shock, as she felt her heart rumble in her chest. This was wrong. What was she doing? How did she think this was appropriate? Was this one of Konata's creepy, pervy things that she did on a regular basis? Was she just trying to mess with her head? She felt her muscles tighten as she prepared to escape, but then she felt them relax as she found herself growing tired, growing weary, from this one kiss.

It actually felt good.

She felt almost disappointed when Konata's lips parted. Kagami's heart was still pounding, but was it from horror, shock, or adrenaline? She stared down at Konata, who stared up at her, a smile on her lips. "Well, that I think that was a good show for the yuri fans out there." It was only then that Kagami remembered where they were, that dozens of otaku, mostly male, were around them, cheering and hooting like maniacs, a few even asking for an encore. As Kagami turned to the masses of otaku, blush running up her cheeks, things became clear.

"Wait, what? You mean you just did that to make a show?" Kagami snapped.

"Yeah, pretty much," Konata replied.

Kagami was right: with Konata, surprises were NEVER good.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

"What's wrong, Kagami? Are you really that upset about the café?"

"Shut up!"

"Aw, you're so adorable when you're mad. I think you're blushing a little too."

"I said shut up!" Kagami turned on her heals, her body wrapped up in warm comforting scarves and heavy jackets, her face scarlet from the blush that bubbled beneath her skin, her eyes aimed at Konata like heavy artillery under a bunker, waiting to annihilate the enemy without a moment's notice. Her breathes came out in ragged, harsh intervals, her chest expanding and contrasting at a rather shocking rate, her fingers flexing as though she wanted to punch that girl kissing midget straight in the nose. Seriously, why did she do it? Only to please those other otaku freaks, no doubt, who were probably off doing lewd things as they thought about what they had seen.

Konata simply grinned that cat-like grin of hers as she said, in that lazy voice of hers, "Oh, Kagami! You're so adorable when you're mad."

"You idiot!" Kagami fumed, turning around as she walked away, hoping to be rid of Konata in her brisk pace. She glanced over her shoulder only to see Konata following her, a nonchalant smile on her lips, as though she didn't understand just how little she was welcome. Kagami increased her speed, trying to break away from Konata, only for the otaku to follow her at a brisker pace, that same stupid idea in her eyes! Soon she began to run onward, her ponytails dancing in the winds that tore around her. She glanced out of the corner of her eyes only to see Konata running at the exact same pace, having no trouble keeping pace with that same nonchalant expression of hers! It was almost as though she didn't have trouble running fast and looking like a weirdo! Then Kagami remembered that Konata was a terrific athlete amongst other things. Grinning to herself, Kagami stopped short, only to watch Konata run onward, unable to stop before running headlong into a garbage pail. The two tumbled over, trash spiraling into the air before landing on Konata's face.

Kagami watched as the bags of trash were tossed aside as Konata, or a rather dirty Konata, rose into the air, her expression finally changed as she sighed. "Kagami, was that really necessary to let me run headlong into some guy's rotting meat?"

"Was it necessary to kiss me, you freak?" Kagami huffed, rounding on Konata, finally saying everything that she wanted to thought.

"Oh, it's just a kiss," Konata replied, "It's not that uncommon at the café. The Yuri fans love it!"

"You mean you kissed other girls before, too?" Kagami sputtered.

"Oh yeah. I do it with Patricia all the time," Konata waved her off, nonchalantly.

"Patricia!?"

"Oh yeah, she's really good at it. She has a—"

"I don't want to know," Kagami muttered, walking away, shaking her head as blush filled her face.

"Wait a second," Konata mumbled, glancing at Kagami with a curious expression, "Is it possible that you've never kissed a girl before?"

Kagami felt her heart stumble. Her eyes widened as blush filled her face. Was that her first kiss? No, surely that couldn't be it! She hadn't even thought of it as a kiss! Damn it! No, it couldn't be her first kiss because that wasn't a kiss! It was like saying a girl who was raped wasn't a virgin anymore! Well, okay, people's definitions of virginity varied, but still, there had to be someone who kissed her before. Her family always kissed her on the cheek or forehead, so that couldn't be it. What was it then? There had to be some sort of loophole!

"Ah, it was, wasn't it?"

"Shut up!"

Upon arriving home, Kagami walked directly to her room, only muttering high whenever one of her family members asked her how she was, where she was, why was she sulking, and what was wrong. She remained behind the sanctuary of her locked door, huddled into a ball as, rather than do homework, she flipped on the TV and watched some random, stupid anime. However, after watching for a few minutes, she was reminded of Konata and her obsession with these shows. Just as a girl whom Kagami assumed was a Tsundere began shouting at her love interest with a furious passion, she shut the TV off, groaning to herself as she took out her Wii controllers and turned on Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

A knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Kagami muttered, half-heartedly.

"Kagami? It's Inori. Can you please open up?" Sighing, Kagami approached the door, and undid the lock. Her eldest sister, her short dark purple hair flowing around her jaw line, entered the chamber with an air of perfection, and air of humility, like a Goddess, flowed around her as she smiled at her younger sister. "Kagami, you can close the door behind us if you want to be a little private."

"Sure," Kagami replied, closing the door behind her eldest sister as she plopped herself down on her twin-tailed sister's bed.

"So you're playing video games and not doing homework?" Inori asked, mildly surprised.

"I just have a lot to think about," Kagami sighed, plopping herself down in front of the TV as she used Samus's Final Smash to annihilate Captain Falcon (that had always been the character Konata loved using).

"Like what? You were at that café Konata works at, right? Tsukasa told us," Inori replied, "What happened?"

Kagami was silent for a moment, blush filling her face, before she finally turned around, leaving Samus behind to be knocked away by a Falcon Punch attack, her cheeks scarlet as she snapped, "She kissed me!"

"Kissed you?"

"Yeah, kissed!"

For a moment, Inori was silent, considering this. Then finally, she said, slowly, "I didn't think Konata liked you like—"

"No, it wasn't that kind of kiss! She only did it for show in front of all those otaku idiots," Kagami snapped, blush filling her face, "It was all just a show to her, but for me, that was my first kiss, and she wasted it!"

"Oh, so are you more upset about Konata kissing you, the fact it was all for some part of show to her café, or the fact that she wasted your first kiss?" Inori asked, trying to keep track of the scenario.

"I'm upset about all of it," Kagami sighed, running a hand through her long ponytails as she asked, anxiously, "Am I being unreasonable?"

"No, I wouldn't say so," Inori replied, in that same gentle voice of hers, "But I will mention that maybe you should have anticipated something like this to happen."

"Who expects to have their first kiss stolen from them, huh?"

"No, I mean, you did go to a Cosplay Café where they had a lot of fetishy outfits and stuff. I'm surprised you didn't expect a little girl kissing there. To be honest, now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense."

"Inori, you're not helping." When she had confided in her dearest eldest sister about her problems, she had expected Inori to side with her, to tell her comforting words that only a mature sister of her age would know, to tell her that Konata was a freak and she, Kagami, was perfectly fine and justified in wanting to ram a broomstick down the blue haired otaku's throat. Now, however, it almost felt as though Inori was siding with Konata!

"I apologize, but I've never really been in this sort of situation before," Inori replied, her cheeks filled with blush, "But did you like the kiss?"

"No!" Kagami lied, remembering the finale of the spectacle with semi-fond memories. She had enjoyed it, she had! Why the hell had she enjoyed something so disgusting, so repulsive? It was ridiculous. It defied all common sense, for one, and for two, Konata was a girl, and Kagami certainly didn't like girls like that. She wanted a husband, a few kids, to work as a Miko at the Hiiragi shrine, not to marry that stupid otaku! Wait, who said anything about marriage? Who said anything about dating? Who had said anything about Kagami and Konata being together? She was just being paranoid. "Get it together, Kagami. Just get it together."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

"Listen, I won't tell the rest of the family, so don't—"

"That won't be necessary, Inori." Kagami rose to her feet in fury as she saw her other eldest sister, Matsuri, with brown hair that went down to her shoulders, walk in from the side of the doorway where that door Kagami had been foolish enough to leave unlocked laid ajar, at her side Tsukasa, who was followed by both of her parents. Kagami felt her heart beat faster and faster against her ribcages before exploding in her chest, leaving her a devastated corpse, a husk of a human, as she fell against the floor, the world spiraling around her.

"Matsuri, I thought I told you I wanted to speak to Kagami in private," Inori stammered, clearly upset.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't the one who came up first," Matsuri said, laid back, "Tsukasa came up, then mom, then dad, and I was the last one to arrive. I got here right when Kagami talked about kissing someone."

"I hate you all," Kagami mumbled.

"Now, Kagami," her father replied, seriously, "I don't suppose you—"

The sound of a phone ringing silenced all of them.

#

"Oh man, what a problem," sighed Konata, leaning back at her desk as she took damage from a battalion of enemy fire, "Miss Kuroi, where are you right now?" Usually Konata Izumi could trust that her teacher, who had just as little of a social life as she did, would be able to bail her out of situations like these. Well, that was irrelevant right now. She had to win! She had to—

"Konata!" At the sound of her name, she glanced over her shoulder to see her short green haired elder cousin, Yui, rocket into the room, waving her arms merrily as she smiled, her broad grin on her round face so great it must have been illegal, in which case, being a cop, Yui would need to arrest herself. "I'm here to play! What're you doing?"

"Playing, waiting for that cruel Miss Kuroi to get on to bail me out."

"Aw, that's a shame," Yui sighed, plopping her down on Konata's bed. Konata couldn't help but pick up a trace of alcohol on her cousin's breath. Had she been drinking? Was she drunk? And had she driven here, drunk, AND a police officer? Before Konata could consider the possibilities of that ludicrous statement, Yui sat up cross-legged on her bed, a smile on her lips. "Yutaka looks like she's having fun here."

"Yeah, she is," Konata replied, partially reemerging herself into the game world while keeping and ear out for Yui.

"I mean, she actually looks a little taller," Yui replied, "That's a good thing. I'm pretty lanky, so I suppose I must've stolen all of her growth, you know?"

"You're not that tall, Cousin Yui," replied Konata, "But next to fun sized people like me you look like a giant." Fun sized? That reminded Konata of Kagami. It wasn't like she felt bad for what she did, but Kagami had seemed so upset by it. She loved the way her face filled with red whenever she was embarrassed. Still, she needed to make sure she came back to the café on a regular basis until their other workers came back. She had to bribe her with something, maybe ask her forgiveness, even though she wasn't repentant about kissing her dear friend by any stretch of the word. Glancing over her shoulder lazily, Konata asked, "Hey, Cousin Yui, how do you apologize to someone?"

"Apologize?" Yui asked, curiously, "Who're you apologizing to?"

"A friend."

"Oh, well, I suppose you'd need to call them and just say I'm sorry."

"Oh, sounds easy enough," Konata replied, withdrawing her cell phone as her avatar was "saved" by Miss Kuroi, who sent a message through the IM system of the game, that she should be working on that project as opposed to leveling up her character. The phone rang a few moments before it was picked up. A deep male voice, undoubtedly Kagami's father, answered.

"Hello, Hiiragi Residence."

"Hello, Mr. Hirragi? This is Konata. Can I speak to Kagami for a second?"

"Okay, Konata. Let me just check to see if she's available." Konata could hear her father speaking words that she couldn't understand, but she assumed they were words that were to summon Kagami to the phone. However, his pleas were rejected when Kagami's piercing loud shouts of fury filled the Hiiragi house on the other side of the line. They were so loud that even Konata had to draw the phone away just to make sure her eardrums didn't shatter. "Konata? I think Kagami will be here in a mom—Hey!"

"Konata, you jerk!"

"Ah, Kagami! How're you?"

"How the hell do you think?!" Kagami snapped back, "I have a few things to say to—"

"Listen, Kagami, I didn't mean to upset you like that," Konata interrupted, glancing at Cousin Yui for feedback. Judging her nods of approval to be a good sign, Konata continued, "I didn't want you to get so angry. I just got caught up in the moment."

"Konata, are you being serious?"

"Oh yes. Am I ever not serious?"

"Do you want an honest answer to that?"

"So cold, Kagami. Well, I'm sorry, and I'll try to make it up to you later." Yes, Konata would make it up to her later. Tomorrow, she'd make sure she just tried moderate flirting in front of her otaku audience as opposed to full blown make out sessions. Those were mostly reserved for rare occasions to ensure otaku came all the time for the chance to see full blown yuri in front of them.

"Okay, Konata," Kagami replied, a hint of tears on the other line.

"Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow," Konata replied, hanging up after Kagami replied with her good-bye. Turning to Cousin Yui, she replied, "So, was that good enough?"

"Konata, you didn't really mean a word of what you just said, did you?" Yui asked, frowning in disapproval.

"Well, a little bit was true, but I really don't feel bad about what I did. It was all part of the show."

"Oh, for your café? What did you do? Kiss her or something?"

"Funny you should bring up kissing."


End file.
